Humbled!

 I am particularly fond of a particular customer at work(no strings..)..No matter how upset or tired I am, he always  gets a big smile from me (yea it's a 'he' ..still no strings..really)…

However, I noticed, that he doesn't seem to  notice or care..Infact, he, most times, avoids my workspace..seems like he would rather my colleague attends to him…It got disturbing

The last straw was him coming recently and dropping a  gift for my colleague right in front of me *shocked face*

That really hurt…didn't know I was capable of feeling so jealous..lol...tried to think of ways I' d given better service..but I knew I entertaining those feelings with such thoughts only brings trouble...so I went to Father

 'Be content with your lot' was all I heard

 'Be content'? *sigh*…This was all too familiar

I had been here before…not too long ago

I had a huge crush…I think I might have even been in love with a particular guy a few years back..we hit it off instantly..or so I like to believe…but it died just as fast as it started..his love I mean

But I refused to let go..didn't want to accept..what went wrong? Is this just 'demo'..maybe if I put up a front..act like I didn't care…but all I got was indifference

I pushed, fought, screamed, cried….

I knew that sometimes, it's not the right time, I wanted to hear that…some soothing reassurance..nothing still

I just had to let go

I finally caved..only after a year

 That was my first lesson on contentment

There won't always be justification for things not going your way…we won't always be let into the reason why certain things happen…there won't always be closure

Some people will not like you for no reason…. Some loves will be lost for no reason…some friendships will end for no reason…

Or better put, for no reason known to us

I was only reminded by this customer

After a  few inner tantrums and pouting…which lasted less than a year this time, I'm content once again

In all of those minutes, I had forgotten the customer that would have nobody attend to him except me, another whose name or face I don't remember most times but always takes time to find out how I'm doing…

I had a lot going for me..as we all would realize if we stopped to look around…count our blessings

It's easy to slip into that feeling of 'Supernova'..everything's going to go my way…I can be anything..get anyone…anytime..my time is now!

We go looking for trouble..testing waters…

But lo! How God humbles us

I've been humbled!

Father was quick to remind me that this doesn't mean  I'm less special…less than 'good enough'

However, we have to understand that we are, but instruments, creations..God's creations..He  determines the time..the place..the person

No parent lets his/her child have all the toys he points to in the store but the child was taken there to pick some toys

God knows what we need…and He promised to bring  them to us..or us to them..His call

But in His time..for His purpose

There's a big picture…far beyond our noses..far greater than which customer got what gift and for who

I'm learning  to move on…

Accept the good that comes to me…resist the bad..desire less…appreciate more