I am particularly fond of a particular
customer at work(no strings..)..No matter how upset or tired I am, he
always gets a big smile from me (yea
it's a 'he' ..still no strings..really)…
However, I noticed,
that he doesn't seem to notice or
care..Infact, he, most times, avoids my workspace..seems like he would rather
my colleague attends to him…It got disturbing
The last straw was
him coming recently and dropping a gift
for my colleague right in front of me *shocked face*
That really
hurt…didn't know I was capable of feeling so jealous..lol...tried to think of
ways I' d given better service..but I knew I entertaining those feelings with
such thoughts only brings trouble...so I went to Father
'Be content with your lot' was all I heard
'Be content'? *sigh*…This was all too familiar
I had been here
before…not too long ago
I had a huge crush…I
think I might have even been in love with a particular guy a few years back..we
hit it off instantly..or so I like to believe…but it died just as fast as it
started..his love I mean
But I refused to let
go..didn't want to accept..what went wrong? Is this just 'demo'..maybe if I put
up a front..act like I didn't care…but all I got was indifference
I pushed, fought,
screamed, cried….
I knew that
sometimes, it's not the right time, I wanted to hear that…some soothing
reassurance..nothing still
I just had to let go
I finally
caved..only after a year
That was my first lesson on contentment
There won't always
be justification for things not going your way…we won't always be let into the
reason why certain things happen…there won't always be closure
Some people will not
like you for no reason…. Some loves will be lost for no reason…some friendships
will end for no reason…
Or better put, for
no reason known to us
I was only reminded
by this customer
After a few inner tantrums and pouting…which lasted
less than a year this time, I'm content once again
In all of those
minutes, I had forgotten the customer that would have nobody attend to him
except me, another whose name or face I don't remember most times but always
takes time to find out how I'm doing…
I had a lot going
for me..as we all would realize if we stopped to look around…count our
blessings
It's easy to slip
into that feeling of 'Supernova'..everything's going to go my way…I can be
anything..get anyone…anytime..my time is now!
We go looking for
trouble..testing waters…
But lo! How God
humbles us
I've been humbled!
Father was quick to
remind me that this doesn't mean I'm
less special…less than 'good enough'
However, we have to
understand that we are, but instruments, creations..God's creations..He determines the time..the place..the person
No parent lets
his/her child have all the toys he points to in the store but the child was
taken there to pick some toys
God knows what we
need…and He promised to bring them to
us..or us to them..His call
But in His time..for
His purpose
There's a big
picture…far beyond our noses..far greater than which customer got what gift and
for who
I'm learning to move on…
Accept the good that
comes to me…resist the bad..desire less…appreciate more
