One Sunday, a plane crashes into a residential building killing all on board and a number on ground...a day Nigerians are not to forget so soon

Father, Thank you…even in this we thank You

It could have been worse so we're grateful

We dare not question You

We just ask that you help us here

 The country mourns…

 Schoolmates mourn…

Families mourn…

It was sudden..it was fast…we hope it was painless

The news…the prayers…the shock...the outbursts

For their loved ones, The Grief…Father…the grief

Some got to say goodbye..some got to get that last hug

Others wish they went to the airport too…or didn't have that fight

Some lost one, some lost all (Father, Hold these ones in Your Hands and be theirs)

There're different reactions…..different regrets…different pains

But there's that one pain…dat sharp pain deep inside…that one dat quadruples when they

wake up in the morning and remember…that one all will feel

There Lord…where our hands cannot reach…our words cannot soothe…our love might not heal, Father, touch them

Then Father, when this news gets cold..and attentions wanes…when relatives have to return…and display pictures change...When the nation moves on

Then,

when that Widower finally cries… and those parents dining see the empty seats

When that mother's breasts starts to ache…and that fiancé has to return those rings

Then Lord, we'll need you most…for them...so they know they are not alone

They will be weak..Father be their strength

They will be angry with You, please Father, still, be there

Be their stay…their hope…their rest

Father, please be their everything till this is over

But we know that for them, this will never be

So Father, we ask that You be with them forever..

Thank you Father

This we pray in Jesus' Name

Amen

Humbled!

 I am particularly fond of a particular customer at work(no strings..)..No matter how upset or tired I am, he always  gets a big smile from me (yea it's a 'he' ..still no strings..really)…

However, I noticed, that he doesn't seem to  notice or care..Infact, he, most times, avoids my workspace..seems like he would rather my colleague attends to him…It got disturbing

The last straw was him coming recently and dropping a  gift for my colleague right in front of me *shocked face*

That really hurt…didn't know I was capable of feeling so jealous..lol...tried to think of ways I' d given better service..but I knew I entertaining those feelings with such thoughts only brings trouble...so I went to Father

 'Be content with your lot' was all I heard

 'Be content'? *sigh*…This was all too familiar

I had been here before…not too long ago

I had a huge crush…I think I might have even been in love with a particular guy a few years back..we hit it off instantly..or so I like to believe…but it died just as fast as it started..his love I mean

But I refused to let go..didn't want to accept..what went wrong? Is this just 'demo'..maybe if I put up a front..act like I didn't care…but all I got was indifference

I pushed, fought, screamed, cried….

I knew that sometimes, it's not the right time, I wanted to hear that…some soothing reassurance..nothing still

I just had to let go

I finally caved..only after a year

 That was my first lesson on contentment

There won't always be justification for things not going your way…we won't always be let into the reason why certain things happen…there won't always be closure

Some people will not like you for no reason…. Some loves will be lost for no reason…some friendships will end for no reason…

Or better put, for no reason known to us

I was only reminded by this customer

After a  few inner tantrums and pouting…which lasted less than a year this time, I'm content once again

In all of those minutes, I had forgotten the customer that would have nobody attend to him except me, another whose name or face I don't remember most times but always takes time to find out how I'm doing…

I had a lot going for me..as we all would realize if we stopped to look around…count our blessings

It's easy to slip into that feeling of 'Supernova'..everything's going to go my way…I can be anything..get anyone…anytime..my time is now!

We go looking for trouble..testing waters…

But lo! How God humbles us

I've been humbled!

Father was quick to remind me that this doesn't mean  I'm less special…less than 'good enough'

However, we have to understand that we are, but instruments, creations..God's creations..He  determines the time..the place..the person

No parent lets his/her child have all the toys he points to in the store but the child was taken there to pick some toys

God knows what we need…and He promised to bring  them to us..or us to them..His call

But in His time..for His purpose

There's a big picture…far beyond our noses..far greater than which customer got what gift and for who

I'm learning  to move on…

Accept the good that comes to me…resist the bad..desire less…appreciate more

365 days of Faithfulness

You left us early

Said a goodbye we didn't hear

It's been a year without that laugh

Thousands of phone calls except that one

But the nights have grown lighter... mornings brighter

The  memories have managed to bring smiles too

You didn't leave us alone

That could have easily been our end too

But capable Hands have held us

I hope they hold you too

You are dearly missed

Always in our hearts

Loved to Love

I just love The Mentalist...Patrick Jane is just *sigh* :)
So in this particular episode, Hightower, his boss who's being framed..but he's helping escape, tries to convince him to talk to someone about a new plan he has ...
he's hatched another plan to catch Red john..but this time, he was not going to let anyone
in on it..
However, Patrick would hear none of it..I'm better off alone he says
She has a response that struck a chord with me "Nobody is better off alone"

I used to think a lot like Patrick..I didn't need anybody
All people did was disappoint, betray...
I seemed happy
I lived a lie...
Truth was...I was scared...
What looked like confidence, independence, were just  facades
Walls were all they were

Father had to teach me...t'was a long arduous process..but I did learn
Man was created to be a dependent being (John 15:5)
Unconsciously, we form opinions about ourselves from outside opinions
What makes the difference is whose opinion we accept

I've come to know an unconditional, unrelenting, unchanging love
A love that comes from Someone who doesn't need anything from me
I accept His opinion...that I'm intentionally loved..I'm lovable
I'm a prized possession...I've been loved long before I loved back..
I'm  beautifully, intentionally, carefully made
All of my big head, flat nose, skinny, one-oddly-placed-dimple..lol

You can't know this Love and still be selfish..
Yea that's what I was..Selfish
I thought of just me...'how other people hurt Me'..'how they disappoint Me'

But knowing this Love, knowing that Someone else has me in His head 24/7
Someone has sleepless nights over me...Someone has me all figured out...has my life all planned out
I couldn't still keep to myself
All this 'loved' feeling I have..has to be shared...
Yea, there're still hurts...some people don't love back...
It hurts for a little while..then I'm reminded whose opinion i should be concerned about
And His love I've got
However..only a few have gone sour...I've met some pretty amazing people..found some life-colouring relationships..and they're are definitely worth taking that risk
Much happier now..

Really, nobody is better off alone

Introducing my darling deary lovie nuggie Ziva, my first god daughter ^_^*beaming*

A friend that sticks...

I've had to clear some doubts recently...

The good thing about changing seasons in life is that your family/friend-base is tested thoroughly..few will remain...

It hurts to see people,  whom you've confidently beat your chest for, just turn and leave...

More hurtful is those you've always gone to..where you've always let guards down, your own family, just change their locks, stop answering their phones...

It's hard to accept...you give excuses...

I had to accept more than a few of such shocks..I ran out of excuses... A month is time enough to return calls...new locks come with extra keys(even more nowadays)...

Then friends came through...they stuck close...they didn't change locks, for me, they didn't even close their doors..they called..

Things got better..I got better...then I started to get  more calls...they wanted back in....they came with the new keys(lol)

But it was too late...I couldn't just let them back in...I fought it..made them fight for it

But my Spirit would have none of it..."You have a merciful Father..and you are His child"... So I let it go (not as easily as I made it sound though..)

But now, little fights start...they're asking "why are you talking to her first?..you should talk to me..I am your this..I am your that...when did you meet her?  blood is thicker than water (err.. I know..ehen?)''...I ignore these comments the first couple of times..but I decided to speak up when my friends began to feel insecure..'maybe you should be talking to her about all these things..afterall you guys are family..i'm only a friend'
I had to let 'family' know that I see nobody as a do-or-die family member...
Those friends stood by me...they didn't bail out...they helped me stand up again..they are my blood!
My 'family' still remain family..I just added a few more members :)

Beautiful forever

This was after a major heart break ...

Doning my biggest smile

As I speak my heart's deepest

Minutes fast turning into moments

Left for later to relish

Tossing, turning

Excitement's drowned my sleep

Day comes quickly

Each step got a new spring

My wardrobe more dan just any pick

Oh..life's neva looked more beautiful

But no one told me to wait for mutual

My smile's neva required so much strength

Words…from a place so strange

Fly time fly

Moments, my forbidden getaway

A chance to re enact I pray for

Lying so still..willing sleep to come

..and neva go

I feel a sting in a place I couldn’t reach

But this can't be it...

It didn't last..then it's not it

I dust d deepest

Oil mouth's hinges

Replace clock's batteries

Buy springs

Life has more beautiful

It's got to

PS: most of them don't have titles